FUCKFUCKFUCK.

So. It's about time that I explain a little something...

I have a degenerative disease passed on from my Gramma's side of the family that causes my teeth to rot for no reason. Most of you don't know this because I wear an elastomer 'grill' over my top teeth on a constant basis. If you've ever wondered why my front four teeth are so brown at any given point, it's because the grill stains easily from my chain-smoking habit and I can barely afford to spend the $50 it takes to get a new one when it starts getting gross. And I don't have insurance, so I sure as hell can't afford to have all my teeth ripped out and get dentures. That's gonna set me back, oh, about $15,000.

I did, however, get a new one last week. I took it out and had wrapped it in a paper towel on the table because my cavities were starting to hurt. Went to sleep. Woke up about an hour ago, and it's gone. Dug through the trash, which had recently been changed. Gone. My fucking teeth are in the garbage outside. I KNOW IT. If I can't find them tomorrow, I'm not leaving the house. I don't care that I have to work at 11. I seriously have half of two of my front teeth missing. I look like a fucking crackhead and I'm not going out in public.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO?

EDIT 7:04AM: Found them. After going through the nasty trash outside which was full of cigarette butts and coffee grounds and food and NOT finding them, I decided to go through the trash in the kitchen a little more thoroughly. And there they fucking were. UGH.

I was kinda hoping I was gonna get to call into work. NOPE. Oh well.