Well fuck that. I think I was having a moment of self-hatred because Terry came back at me last night about 500 times worse than what I laid on him the other night.
Are we all good now and still together? Yes. For now.
My phone sounded a voicemail alert last night around 10pm. Apparently Terry had been calling for two hours straight and of course, he was wasted so he immediately assumed I was ignoring his calls. No. I was at home and I barely get service here. So he felt the need to call me a coward and just hurl everything he could at me via eight voicemails. I'm ugly. My voice sounds stupid. My teeth are disgusting. My hair is 'frizzy'. I have 'horrible personal hygiene'. I need to get a job. I'm dumb.
"All my friends always ask why I'm with you, and I tell them I don't know."
"Dude, I love you, but you're a stupid bitch."
This is never going to end. We'll do really well for a while and then I decide to go home and he gets wasted and wants me to come over, but I don't get my messages in time so he assumes I'm ignoring him and unleashes the most hurtful fucking shit he can muster. Which is REALLY fucking hurtful, to say the least. Then I get a hold of him, we yell at each other for a good ten minutes, then we make up and I go over to his house.
WHY DO I PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT?!?! If any of my friends told me they're going through exactly what I am now, I'd tell them to dump the motherfucker because they don't deserve that shit. Why am I so different?!?!
FUCK. Sometimes I wish we'd have had a clean fucking break.
Anyhow. Got to Terry's. He was passed out. OF COURSE. So I had to bang on his window. Didn't even stir. Opened his window and yelled at him to get up and open the door, 'cause it was locked. Had a smoke, fucked around, went to sleep. Woke up at 10am, went to Elger Bay so he could pick up smokes and give me gas money, went back to the house and I watched him frame up a dog house for Sidney for about 4 hours. Which was amusing as fuck, actually. And hey, now I can make a dog house if I ever need to. Heh.
Goddamnit. I wish I could fucking figure out why I put up with so much shit. He was SO AMAZING at first. The only thing that I can figure happened is he grew some sort of hatred for me after he got his second DUI last year. I mean, yeah, it was partially my fault. But he REALLY didn't have to get behind the wheel. But if he fucking hates me so much like he always says in those horrible fucking voicemails, why does he continue to bother with me? I even asked him that last night.
"Uhhh... because I love you? Durrface."
...not really. If you love someone you don't intentionally hurt them. EVER. I would NEVER say anything like that to him.
Ugh. To be continued.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Fuck my life.
I feel really strange. I'm super fucking hungover, but I'm not experiencing any nausea. WEIRD. All day I've felt like I could puke at any moment, but wasn't dizzy or really sick at all. Kinda fucking weird.
Last night Mike and I met up with Terry at Blazing Saddles, then we all headed over to the Hotel. Had a jager bomb and several beers, plus random swipes off Terry's drinks and pulls off Mike's vodka in that was in my car. Ended up at Grant's house (I think it was Grant's house...). Drank a shitload of beer and I ended up unloading everything that was wrong in my head onto Terry and things aren't great now. Heh. I lose. Muchly. I've got serious fucking jealousy issues which I tend to bottle up forever and drinking makes me rant. A lot. So I ended up bawling and thought it'd be a good time to leave. Heh. So Mike drove us back to his house and I promptly passed out.
God damn. I just really shouldn't be with anyone.
Last night Mike and I met up with Terry at Blazing Saddles, then we all headed over to the Hotel. Had a jager bomb and several beers, plus random swipes off Terry's drinks and pulls off Mike's vodka in that was in my car. Ended up at Grant's house (I think it was Grant's house...). Drank a shitload of beer and I ended up unloading everything that was wrong in my head onto Terry and things aren't great now. Heh. I lose. Muchly. I've got serious fucking jealousy issues which I tend to bottle up forever and drinking makes me rant. A lot. So I ended up bawling and thought it'd be a good time to leave. Heh. So Mike drove us back to his house and I promptly passed out.
God damn. I just really shouldn't be with anyone.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Woooooopants.
Oh man. I got the photos in the mail today (obviously). I was expecting a lot more considering how long it took them to get to me, but meh. Can't really complain about TFCD, eh? And one of the pictures was AMAZING, but the wind had blown some of my hair all crazy and I'm debating on whether or not I wanna upload it anyway. HEH.
I have the same face in every photo. I really need to work on that... AND the overall warmth of each photo doesn't translate to the web. Stupid web colors. They look a lot nicer when you're viewing them straight off the cd. *sigh* I wish he'd included some of the pictures of me smoking. Heh! They were full of attitude and zest and... cancer. Yep.
But enough complaining. I'm pretty damn happy with how they turned out (considering how effing hungover I was...) and I definitely wanna work with him again. Clint's a cool dude.
So last night I went over to Pepper and Dan's. There were so many goddamn people there. Heh. I finally met Dan Weatherly, and he was completely wasted and asked me my name four times even after I said "Bre, like the cheese." That usually makes my name stick. Heh. And he was trying to kidnap Pepper and I and take us to the casino. Heh! I said I was poor as fuckall, but he said something to the effect of my face getting us all free drinks. Or something. Weirdo.
"Bre, your rave name should be... Jesus. With a 'G'." -Pepper
Took a quick trip up to Bellingham with Mike and Pepper. Heh! Went back to Pepper's, drank a box of wine and some beer. Apparently I pulled a Terry and was slumped on the couch with my eyes half open mumbling to Mike. I don't remember this at all. Woke up at 10-ish today with a HORRIBLE hangover. HORRIBLE. I'm still dealing with it right now. I thought I was gonna puke when I got home. Luckily I didn't. I'm just cold and shakey and my borrowed Camel Wides are making me sick, but I can't stop smoking them. Ugh.
So. Hopefully Sam calls soon so I can stick a hole in her tongue. Then I gotta put some pink chunks in Kali's hair and see about going to some party in Oso. Fucking OSO. I haven't been out there since... freshman year of high school. Wow.
God, I feel like AIDS.
I have the same face in every photo. I really need to work on that... AND the overall warmth of each photo doesn't translate to the web. Stupid web colors. They look a lot nicer when you're viewing them straight off the cd. *sigh* I wish he'd included some of the pictures of me smoking. Heh! They were full of attitude and zest and... cancer. Yep.
But enough complaining. I'm pretty damn happy with how they turned out (considering how effing hungover I was...) and I definitely wanna work with him again. Clint's a cool dude.
So last night I went over to Pepper and Dan's. There were so many goddamn people there. Heh. I finally met Dan Weatherly, and he was completely wasted and asked me my name four times even after I said "Bre, like the cheese." That usually makes my name stick. Heh. And he was trying to kidnap Pepper and I and take us to the casino. Heh! I said I was poor as fuckall, but he said something to the effect of my face getting us all free drinks. Or something. Weirdo.
"Bre, your rave name should be... Jesus. With a 'G'." -Pepper
Took a quick trip up to Bellingham with Mike and Pepper. Heh! Went back to Pepper's, drank a box of wine and some beer. Apparently I pulled a Terry and was slumped on the couch with my eyes half open mumbling to Mike. I don't remember this at all. Woke up at 10-ish today with a HORRIBLE hangover. HORRIBLE. I'm still dealing with it right now. I thought I was gonna puke when I got home. Luckily I didn't. I'm just cold and shakey and my borrowed Camel Wides are making me sick, but I can't stop smoking them. Ugh.
So. Hopefully Sam calls soon so I can stick a hole in her tongue. Then I gotta put some pink chunks in Kali's hair and see about going to some party in Oso. Fucking OSO. I haven't been out there since... freshman year of high school. Wow.
God, I feel like AIDS.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
For personal reference...
Arlington to LA: 1,181 miles
Gas: approx. $242.95 both ways
Tickets: $58
Total: $300.95
Gas: approx. $242.95 both ways
Tickets: $58
Total: $300.95
IN HAPPY NEWS!
I just received word that my cd of photos from the shoot with Clint is being put in the mail today!
FUCK! SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!! I can't handle it!!!
*explodes*
FUCK! SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!!! I can't handle it!!!
*explodes*
*dies of laughter*
I've been going through old blogs, comments, messages and livejournal posts lately. I dunno. Don't ask. But I came across this in my comments *chuckle* *snort* *death*
Justin- Last On: Jan 23, 2006 9:15 PM.
Jimmy- Last On: Jan 23, 2006 9:15 PM
(Myspace doesn't tell you what TIME the person was last on! What the hell?! How fucking OBSESSIVE was she to calculate the EXACT TIME each of them signed off?!?!)
Hmm. So to the fuckingDOUCHEBAGSwho wouldn't answer the motherfuckin' call wave or get off of the interent, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKERS.
I calledFIVE FUCKING TIMESwithin the period of time they were online. And none of them got offline for even a second. And especially when I say, "hey, it's kinda important, " you'd think that one of these fuck-faces would kindly log off and whatnot. Especially if it only takes two minutes to log right back on.
But no. They're all jackasses.
I'm getting really fucking frustrated with the treatment of my brother and the way he tweaks after they fuck with him. I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT MOTHERFUCKERS.
That call was important to me and Randy, did you even get it anytime soon? Still, even though they kinda ruined the excitement. Call me, my cell phone is right here, I wanted to tell you things, yes.
Pigheaded assholes.
We finally get Randy leveled out, and now he's fuckin' tweaking again. I'mma kill someone. I hate to see Randy upset.
And he was on the brink of exploding. He wanted to deystroy their faces. I think they should get some sense knocked into them.
Fuckin' Cunts.
Your bitches are dumb, ugly whores.
You're a sad excuse of a man, if you could even call yourself a man.
And you, you're a fucking disease. Good Fucking Riddance.
My brother is a good, honest person. He doesn't need people like that fucking with him. Deceptive, theiving, cum-guzzling twats. Seriously, you fuck with my brother, you done fucked up.
Guh. Bre. I deeply apologize for ranting, but seriously, why must they be such assholes? Can't they just realize?
After all Randy has done for those lil' shits, and they fuck with him!? What. The. Fuck.
GUHHHHHHH!
SARAH
So guess what all that was about? Sarah wanted to tell me... *dundunDUNNNN* that she DROVE HOME. DROVE. FROM MY HOUSE. TO HERS. And Randy wanted to "destroy their faces" because... Sarah wasn't able to tell me she drove home. So she got online to publicly slander all the people who were using my computer when she was trying to call. On my fucking profile. Badass.
*dies laughing* I love coming across reminders of why they've been cleaned out of my life.
Some of you may see this as slander, but I simply see it as painting a more realistic picture of the person that she really is, using her own words. This. REALLY. HAPPENED. And it's HILARIOUS.
Sarah Estrella Jan 23, 2006 11:50 PM
David- Last On: Jan 23, 2006 9:45 PMJustin- Last On: Jan 23, 2006 9:15 PM.
Jimmy- Last On: Jan 23, 2006 9:15 PM
(Myspace doesn't tell you what TIME the person was last on! What the hell?! How fucking OBSESSIVE was she to calculate the EXACT TIME each of them signed off?!?!)
Hmm. So to the fuckingDOUCHEBAGSwho wouldn't answer the motherfuckin' call wave or get off of the interent, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKERS.
I calledFIVE FUCKING TIMESwithin the period of time they were online. And none of them got offline for even a second. And especially when I say, "hey, it's kinda important, " you'd think that one of these fuck-faces would kindly log off and whatnot. Especially if it only takes two minutes to log right back on.
But no. They're all jackasses.
I'm getting really fucking frustrated with the treatment of my brother and the way he tweaks after they fuck with him. I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT MOTHERFUCKERS.
That call was important to me and Randy, did you even get it anytime soon? Still, even though they kinda ruined the excitement. Call me, my cell phone is right here, I wanted to tell you things, yes.
Pigheaded assholes.
We finally get Randy leveled out, and now he's fuckin' tweaking again. I'mma kill someone. I hate to see Randy upset.
And he was on the brink of exploding. He wanted to deystroy their faces. I think they should get some sense knocked into them.
Fuckin' Cunts.
Your bitches are dumb, ugly whores.
You're a sad excuse of a man, if you could even call yourself a man.
And you, you're a fucking disease. Good Fucking Riddance.
My brother is a good, honest person. He doesn't need people like that fucking with him. Deceptive, theiving, cum-guzzling twats. Seriously, you fuck with my brother, you done fucked up.
Guh. Bre. I deeply apologize for ranting, but seriously, why must they be such assholes? Can't they just realize?
After all Randy has done for those lil' shits, and they fuck with him!? What. The. Fuck.
GUHHHHHHH!
SARAH
So guess what all that was about? Sarah wanted to tell me... *dundunDUNNNN* that she DROVE HOME. DROVE. FROM MY HOUSE. TO HERS. And Randy wanted to "destroy their faces" because... Sarah wasn't able to tell me she drove home. So she got online to publicly slander all the people who were using my computer when she was trying to call. On my fucking profile. Badass.
*dies laughing* I love coming across reminders of why they've been cleaned out of my life.
Some of you may see this as slander, but I simply see it as painting a more realistic picture of the person that she really is, using her own words. This. REALLY. HAPPENED. And it's HILARIOUS.
Moneymoneymonieeeeesssss.
So I've got a piercing lined up for Friday. That's $40 closer to my goal. HEH! Hey, it's better than nothin'.
Also. Since I left me and Mike's 'joint custody bitch' camera in his car, I think I'm gonna go to Gramma and Grampa's tomorrow to take pictures of all the shoes I'm selling. I tried using Brandon's camera, but it won't capture the colors correctly at all and it's giving me a lot of shit otherwise. It really, REALLY pains me to have to part with any of my shoes, but I've carefully selected all the pairs that either don't fit anymore or that I'm just not going to wear ever again. They're all in great shape and have only ever been worn once or twice.
On the list are:
DAY-GLO hot pink patent pumps from Wet Seal (4-inch heel - size 7 - asking $20)
DAY-GLO neon green patent pumps from Wet Seal (4-inch heel - size 7 - asking $20)
Bronze t-strap stacked wood wedge from Guess (4-inch wedge - size 7 - asking $25)
Strappy black and pewter stacked (black) wood wedge from Guess (4-inch wedge - size 7 - asking $25)
Black t-strap cork platform wedges from Guess (1-inch platform, 5-inch wedge - size 7 - asking $30)
Black suede knee-high boots with fold-over top and suede/patent buckle detail at ankle from Guess (4-inch heel - size 7 - asking $45)
Black suede Heelys with camo logo (boy's size 6, women's size 8 - asking $50)
I'm also selling the first season of Drawn Together on dvd (viewed twice) and a copy of Quake 4 for pc (never used). I'm asking $14 for each.
In other news. I went to bed on Tuesday morning at 1-ish, woke up at 11am, passed back out around 5, then woke up again at 11pm with the start of a terrible migraine. What the hell? I'm shaking and I'm having issues typing. Ugh. This is annoying.
Also. Since I left me and Mike's 'joint custody bitch' camera in his car, I think I'm gonna go to Gramma and Grampa's tomorrow to take pictures of all the shoes I'm selling. I tried using Brandon's camera, but it won't capture the colors correctly at all and it's giving me a lot of shit otherwise. It really, REALLY pains me to have to part with any of my shoes, but I've carefully selected all the pairs that either don't fit anymore or that I'm just not going to wear ever again. They're all in great shape and have only ever been worn once or twice.
On the list are:
DAY-GLO hot pink patent pumps from Wet Seal (4-inch heel - size 7 - asking $20)
DAY-GLO neon green patent pumps from Wet Seal (4-inch heel - size 7 - asking $20)
Bronze t-strap stacked wood wedge from Guess (4-inch wedge - size 7 - asking $25)
Strappy black and pewter stacked (black) wood wedge from Guess (4-inch wedge - size 7 - asking $25)
Black t-strap cork platform wedges from Guess (1-inch platform, 5-inch wedge - size 7 - asking $30)
Black suede knee-high boots with fold-over top and suede/patent buckle detail at ankle from Guess (4-inch heel - size 7 - asking $45)
Black suede Heelys with camo logo (boy's size 6, women's size 8 - asking $50)
I'm also selling the first season of Drawn Together on dvd (viewed twice) and a copy of Quake 4 for pc (never used). I'm asking $14 for each.
In other news. I went to bed on Tuesday morning at 1-ish, woke up at 11am, passed back out around 5, then woke up again at 11pm with the start of a terrible migraine. What the hell? I'm shaking and I'm having issues typing. Ugh. This is annoying.
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