Please kill me.

I have so many goddamn things I have to do tonight before I go to bed around 9 so I can wake up at 4am. GLEE. But I'm tired. BEYOND tired. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I got home. And I'm so goddamn stressed out. I just wanna sleep for days. I have to clean the house. Do laundry. Umm... I guess that was it. But at the moment it feels like a million things. Ugh.

At least I have Wednesday off. And I had to work an hour and a half over today, so that means I get off an hour and a half early on Friday. Which means more Terry-face-time 'cause I also have Saturday off (!!!). Knowing I'll see him is the only goddamn thing that gets me through the week anymore.

I wanna put a million dollars in my gas tank.

Payday Friday. Dunno how I'm gonna last until then. I'm totally fucking broke, which means no way to chug energy for work. And no snackies throughout the day. At least I have half a tank of gas.

Goddamnit. I guess I'm gonna pull my ass away from the computer and attempt to get SOMETHING done so I can have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow. And then pass the hell out. Heh.

Guh.

Drove to a party in Arlington Heights last night with Sarah, Terry, Blue, Toby, and Little Toby. Got stressed the fuck out from having to follow a notorious speeder all the way out there, so I kept losing Toby 'cause I don't effing speed, and then deal with an effed up parking situation. Weee. And I didn't even get to drink 'cause I was the DD. Yay. Soooo... yep. Fun.

Terry put his stereo in my car the night before last. And I'm so goddamn grateful for that. Driving around without music was making me INSANE. It sucked. The only thing that sucks about it is that it's not mounted into anything 'cause the old stereo in my car was stolen (from the previous owner) and it was literally ripped out, so there's nothing left of the middle console. The stereo just kinda rests in there. Heh. So we have to go to Pull-A-Part to look for one o' those. 'Cause the power cuts out sometimes when I go over bumps or around corners. HEH.

I have like $5 to my name until Friday. How did I let that happen? Jesus!

Got leftover pizzas from the meeting at work tonight. Score.

Ummm... I need to smoke and go to bed. 'Cause I have work at 7 in the morning. Joy.

You think it's hot, but try on these jeans!

...MADE OF WICKER! AND THEY GOT HORSEFLEAS!!!! MUSTARD IN MY JEANS-WHOA!!!

So. Drove Sarah to Lynnwood so she could stay over at Jay's. HEH. That was fun. And my first time ever driving I-5 south of the 4th street exit. Firstly, as I was getting off on the Alderwood exit, some assmaster was pacing me so I couldn't get into the westbound lane. So I had to go east and turn into Circuit City, park and smoke so I wouldn't go homicidal on the entire city of Lynnwood. There were no incidents on the way to Jay's house. But on the way BACK. FUCK. I totally missed the north I-5 onramp on 196th. So I go down past the mall and attempt to take Ash Way. Nope. Been a long-ass time since I've been in that area. Missed Ash Way. Found myself on Butternut Road. What the shit?

But the whole time I was thinking, "I'm forever going to call this death-trap of a road 'Butternut Squash'."

Anyhow. I knew that somehow this Filbert Road business would turn into 196th. And I was right. SUPERGLEE. Got on the freeway and drove about 5mph in REAL LIVE TRAFFIC right after Eastmont all the way to 41st. Fun.

But yeah. Made it home alive. What joy and rapture.

Before that, Sarah and I hit up WinCo for some Monstewwwws. And what glorious deals they have. Then we got gas. And learned that I suck at life at pumping gas. Oh yes.

Plans for tomorrow: Work 10-7. Take off from work and steal my lovely. Bring lovely back here. Laze about and generally be disgusting and gooey-wubbie. Heh.

Smoke. BED.

WEEEEEEEE!!!

I AM. LICENSED DRIVER.

OH MY EFFING GOD. I'ma go drive Dr. Tran to work now. HEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

HEEEEEEE!!!

MY DRIVE TEST IS TOMORROW AT 9:50!!!!!!!!!! WISH ME LUCK!!!!

A ministry of Christa. *heh*

I so need to invest in a better cd burner. Heh. Mine is so effing old that the fastest it goes is 4x. SAD. I'm trying to burn a mix cd for work and it looks like it's gonna be done like, the very SECOND we need to head out the door to catch the bus. Christ. 15 minutes per cd. Insanity.

So. 12-9 today. Off tomorrow. Terry (as in my step-dad Terry) is picking me up tomorrow morning at 8:30 so we can go schedule my drive test. SO IT'S REALLY GETTING DONE, YOU GUYS. OH MY GOD. It would be pretty effing sweet if I could just do the test tomorrow, but I highly doubt that'll happen. Meh.

FACE.

Marysville is bad for my wallet. Or lack thereof. Heh.

On Friday Sarah and I blew some money at Rave after we got off work. Went home, met up with muh baybeh, then went to Kohl's and the new Ross. Spent about $50. Heh. Not bad compared to Sir Terrypants, who spent like $100 on a couple tshirts and some shoes. Heh.

Today after work Sarah and I went to Walmart. Bought a hairdryer (AHMFUG.), new cherries for my car ('cause my old ones probably don't smell at all anymore), mascara, bikini bottoms and a cd case for work. And Twizzlers. Spent $27. BADASS.

I really need a new hoodie. I'll probably drop by Ross again after I get done with scheduling my drive test tomorrow.

Anyhow. And Gramma's birthday party on Saturday was awesome. We all got sloshed on apple pies. SO GOOD. UNNNGHHH. I had like four shots of that stuff and actually didn't die. I'm amazed. Came home and Terry and I had some shots of Jager, then Blue came over, we all went to Amber's and drank gin and tonics. Heh. I felt like hell this morning.

I MISS TERRY. GUH!

CANDLELITBROWN!!!!!!!!!!

TATTOOOOOFS TOMORROWWWWW!

I should probably figure out what I wanna have inked into my flesh for eternity. Heh. Still dunno yet. If I can't think of anything by tomorrow afternoon, I suppose I'll just get something small on my hand. Probably a star.

Who didn't see that coming? Heh!

Terry's getting something fabulous. Heeee.

So I totally just took $8 worth of change to the Coin Master at Safeway and then blew it all at Sally's. Grood times.

PAYDAY TOMORROW. YUSSSSSSSS.

I miss muh bay-beh.

Effing damnit.

Last night. Blue came over. Aaron came over. Drinking ensued. Blue drove me to Applebee's where the Guess staff was having a dinner-type gathering. Moved it to Jason's house. Heh. Shit got pretty crazy. It was awesome. DID. NOT. SLEEP. Jennifer drove me home to change and grab my shit, then to work. At 6am. HEH. Now I'm dying. Got off the bus after work, bought a Lost and a munchie at the 76. Walked out, answered a phone call from my lovely, and SMACKED my fucking head on this giant red metal thing outside the back door that SERVES NO PURPOSE WHATSOEVER. That was fun.

I wanna sleep. But no. And I wanna see my lovely. But no. I don't get to see him for quite some time, it seems. We go crazy when we don't get to see each other for two effing days. How the hell am I supposed to last a week or more?

Yep. Today took a turn for the worst the second I got home. All this fucking shit came crashing down on me out of nowhere. UGH. Good ol' karma.

I need to pee. And smoke.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS JUST SAID THAT?!?!"

I. AM. DYING.

I'm so goddamn bored. I've already pretty much cleaned everything I can. No. That's not true. There are still dishes in the sink. And a carpet to be vacuumed. But eff that, I say. But hey. At least I scrubbed the bathtub. Heh.

Ummm. I miss Terry so bad right now. Last I talked to him was last night around midnight and he was shitfaced and bitching about someone pissing or spilling beer on his mattress. In the back of Toby's truck. Heh. At first he was ready to throw down, but then like two seconds later he decided to go to sleep instead. HEH! He called this morning at 8:21, but I was sleeping and didn't even hear my phone ring. Now his phone is dead. And I'm going crazy. I MISS MY BABY. And I probably won't even get to see him until sometime this week. It kills me.

So later I guess Karina's gonna come pick up Toby aka Buddy-Bulldog aka The Fat One, and mom's gonna bring smokies and we're going to Gramma and Grampa's. Weeee!

EFF!!!!

Gonna be up all damn night. Karina brought me a 4 pack o' Monstewwws and I cannot stop drinking them. My next one will be my fifth. 'Cause I had two Losts beforehand. HEH.

I swear, I'm gonna die of a taurine overdose. Heart palpitations. Glory.

Ummm. Yeah. I miss my baby. He was calling every couple of minutes for a while there to drunkenly demand "WHY AREN'T YOU HEEEERRREEE WITH MEEEEE?!?!" But that's subsided, so I guess he finally passed out. On his mattress. Which is currently located in the bed of Toby's truck. Wow.

Jesus, I wish I was there right now. It kills me knowing he's so effing far away and that I probably could have finagled a ticket from someone.

I have no cigarettes. I haven't had any since like 4pm. I've been smoking random refries that I keep coming across around the apartment. Fun. I keep meaning to get off my ass and go to 711 or something and buy some, but I'm way too goddamn lazy. And I really hate buying single packs of smokes. It's against my religion.

Your face.

Eff.

All alone. So sad. Sarah took off to Lynnwood a few hours ago, Doom and K-town left, Joo-staaaa and Kyle showed up for a minute and then left. And everyone else is on their way to Ozzfest. UGH! I WANNA GO.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH MYSELF?!?! I'm gonna finish putting clusters of silver rub-on stars on my rear windshield. Heh!

Oh! Alli stopped by for a minute as well to get her sunglasses from me and gave me a shitload of random crap. Like the highly-coveted MUDFLAP BITCH BELT BUCKLE. OH MY GOD. I have it on right now.

I'm so sad. I so wanna be in Toby's truck right now headed east where the metal resides. FUCK.

Guh. I'm gonna go bleach muh hurrr or somethin'.

YOUUUUUUU. BASTARD.

Yep. I knew I was gonna have to postpone the drive test scheduling until tomorrow. Groogh. I would still just go, but I'm expecting K-town's face to be here in approximately 55 minutes so I can do her roots.

T-PANTS IS GOING TO OZZFEST. GODDAMNIT. So I have three days off and I'm not gonna see him for any of them except the five minutes I saw him this morning before he had to go to work. UGH. And I could have had Ozzfest tickets. But noooooo. I couldn't stay up and redeem my code the night I was supposed to 'cause I had work at 5 the next morning. GODDAMNIT. BASTARDS.

I need to clean my house so bad. But I think I'll have a stogie (or ten) first. Yep.

Plop.

OHMYGODTHREEDAYSOFFINAROW.

FUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK.

Too bad I have to wake up early-ish tomorrow anyway to hop on a bus to Smokey Point and schedule my drive test. Hmmmmm.

New. New pictures. Galore. Oh yes.

Bought stuff today. Probably shouldn't have, but meh. Not too bad. Sarah and I went to Rave on our lunch and they were having this incredible sale so I got a pair of jeans and a new tube top for something ridiculous like $17. And then after work Sarah and I went to Sally's and I bought some super light ash blonde dye and a pumice and a nail bufferererrrrr. Yoy. Gonna look like old woman by tomorrow. Wewt. I crave ash blonde hair.

Ummm... I DRANK TOO MANY LIQUIDS AND NOW I GOTTA PISS. REWIND THE PLAY FIVE MINUTES.

"SUCK MY PRESIDENTIAL COCK, BITCH!!!"

AHMFUG. WHO PUT A NEW DIGI ON LAYAWAY?!?!?!

I DID! YEEEESSS!!! I'm excited. Should have it in my hot little hands within the next two paychecks. Awwww yeah.

Don't worry. It's from Pawn X-change. Heh.

It's too damn hot. Jebus.

Ummm... off to Electra to watch Sarah not squirm like a bitch. Heh.

"You don't love me! You're just a box with 'I love you' written on it!!!"

Bills are taken care of. We're gonna effing LIVE! YAY!

Key-Key and the nameless kitten are FINALLY FUCKING GONE as of like 30 minutes ago. YAY!

Bought a 100 spindle of cd-rs at Walmart today! GLEE! Burning much Muse and other such glory to blast at work tomorrow.

THE HOUSE IS FULL OF FOOD. AHMFUG.

MOM BOUGHT TERRY A PILLOW. HEH!

The house is slowly but surely becoming clean. And it feels as though a herd of elephants moved out.

Oh. Glory.

I'm already up way too effing late. Goddamnit. I just love it when I have to work 12-9 one day and then go home and try to cram in a shower and house cleaning, go to bed, then have to wake up at 5am to go to work at 7. GUH.

Fun times. Food. Smokie. Family Guy. Bed.

Ugh.

Had a mental breakdown at work today. Left 7 1/2 hours early. Christ.

Ummm... went to Gramma and Grampa's with mom last night. Finally. Got to see Doom and K-town and Joo-staaa and Lacie-face and FUCKING KYLE. KYLE IS BACK YOU GUYS. AHMFUG. And he's really tall and he's smoking cigarettes. HEH.

Umm. Yeah. Went home, then went out to Phinickey's with Terry, Toby and Amber. Left like 10 minutes after we got there and went to Maxi's instead. Fun karaoke times. Good ol' drunk people.

I need a smoke. And like 50 cans of tuna. Dear god.

Oh yeah. One cat down. Two to go. Well, one if Toby takes one. SOMEONE TAKE KEY-KEY, PLEASE!

"He's breakin' my butt!"

PAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY.

MOTHER OF GOD. First thing I'm getting is a goddamn Lost. UNGH. I drool at the mere thought. Then I suppose I have to go pick up some cat food so these fucking monsters will shut the hell up. A pack o' smokies to tide me over until mom gets here as well. Yessss.

Spent last night with my darling at his house and did a shitload of laundry for free. Heh. I loves.

FUCKING RETARD CATS! I HATE YOU! I just stuck a full 28lb bucket of cat litter in front of the cupboard where the garbage is so they'd stop trying to get into it. They're standing ON TOP of it and still trying to pry the doors open with their heads. WOW.

Smokie.

Here's where shit starts to go downhill...

Oh badness.

Went to work this morning, got our paychecks, went to the bank to cash them and Sarah's account is overdrawn a ridiculous amount of money. And a new Comcast bill came saying we owe them $220 'immediately'.

...fuck.

DON'T FEEL LIKE DANCIN'! DANCIN'! DURKA DURKA DURKA DURKA DURK-DA-DOO!

Wow. I just made myself feel a whole lot better by cleaning the living shit out of the living room and computer area. Heh. I'm seriously itching to vacuum, but it's waaayyy too late for that. And I need to take out the recycling, but it's too late for that as well. UGH. I can't exactly clean the kitchen until I can take out the recycling. 'Cause most of the mess in there is just empty cans.

I'm considering staying up tonight. Eh. No. Not a good plan.

Durka is now trying to have sex with his own children. I'm gonna effing hoarf. TAKE THESE FUCKING CATS!

I need to buy some Febreze on Friday. Like whoa. Like 2-3 bottles of it.

I'ma go get a soda from the laundry room, smoke and probably pass out in front of the tv. For the first time ever.

Kill me.

1. Sarah put Key-Key and one of the kittens on Craigslist yesterday morning. She got a call from this woman who wanted to take them. They set it up so she'd come get them sometime this morning. SHE NEVER SHOWED OR CALLED.

2. The cats have no goddamn food, so they're going ballistic and getting into the garbage and screaming every time I go into the kitchen.

3. My house is a goddamn disaster. And everything reeks of cat piss.

4. When I left for work this morning, I forgot my house keys and bus money for the ride home. So after sitting at the bus stop by the casino for 10 minutes, I realized my idiocy and walked home. Then when I finally got here, I had to break into my fucking house.

5. I have $11 to my name until Friday. Which is basically enough to keep me in energy drinks for work until Friday.

6. My paycheck on Friday is going to be about $80 short because my hours were cut two weeks ago.

7. Rent is due the day after tomorrow. Cable is due on the 7th. I dunno when the hell the rest of the PUD is due. We have the money for all of that, but tomorrow I get to wake up earlier than I need to just to go to Walmart for a fucking money order. 'Cause our rent can only be paid in money orders.

I. AM. GOING. TO. FUCKING. SNAP. I want to burn this goddamn place to the ground.

"Raping your churches, burning your women..."

Effing. Eff.

Spent the weekend over at Terry's, for the most part. Had to work on Saturday and BLEEHHHHH and I nearly set some shoppers on fire. Seriously.

But yeah. Drank some Jager bombs of glory. Watched a Whitest Kids marathon on Fuse. Good stuff. But we overslept this morning and Terry had absolutely no time to get me back to Marysville or he'd be late to work, so he had to drop me off in Stanwood so I could catch a bus to Smokey Point. Fun times. Just got home a little bit ago.

My house is in shambles and fucking REEKS and I think we're having barbeque kitties for the 4th of July. Heh. I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle these goddamn cats. Someone PLEASE take them! PLEASE!

I need smokie-times. Ooooo and I hope my card reader shows up today. That would make me happy in pants.